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JohnMichaels,MS,LPC, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1113
Experience:  25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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I am not sure how this all works? Do I just download what I

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Hi there, I am not sure how this all works? Do I just download what I am thinking?
Assistant: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.
Customer: Realtionship Issues. In a nut shell I have a trust issue with my partner, and I love her very much but my heart says stay, my head says go.
Assistant: OK. To minimize me, please click the down arrow at the top right corner of this box.
Customer: We have been together 2 years, both in our 50's and divorced. She is a diabetic as well as having ME. I absolutely understand I have become a bit complacent about our relationship and making decisions without consulting her. For example saying I won't stay over as she is tired, without letting her make the decisions for herself. Recently she inadvertently sent me a message meant for her daughter that said, lovely time with Ed, (that's me) but I may as well go on the date with S and see how it is. Clearly she was unhappy with us but I take that as deceit. I confronted her and she told me she wasn't happy about us. I asked her to think things through and let me know. She did and a week later told me she loved me very much and wanted us to work. I was initially happy. I then questioned her and she had been out with S three times on dates, when she told me she was thinking about us. I was naturally devastated. She told me it was a dreadful mistake and she was sorry. We are together but I admit my trust has been broken, I love her and want to be with her but I am full of jealousy and suspicious of what she is doing. Somewhat irrational but I think understandable. She says she loves me very much but I am not sure. I am astonished how easily she lied and how convincingly she carried of seeing him and telling me she was thinking about us. I basically doubt everything she says now. I know if we are to work I have to get rid of those feelings, I have no idea how
Assistant: This sounds like a can of worms I'm glad not to have to open. The Psychologist will do a great job for you. Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?
Customer: In a precise that is it. meant precis
I am so sorry this has happened.
Believe it or not, many relationships have come out stronger as a result of incidents like this. There are about five steps to making this happen:1. A sincere Apology on her part. Acknowledging the pain she has caused, no excuses. Admit she is the one to blame. Don’t try to shift it anywhere else. Accept your response. You don’t owe her anything. She blew it. She needs to accept your response.2. Forgiveness on your part. This is totally up to you, but is totally necessary for healing. You hurt yourself more than anybody if you refuse to forgive.3. Accountability on her part, holding herself accountable for her every move. Staying away from the guy this happened with.4. Trust on your part. You have to give her a chance to make things right.5. Time is a great healer. You guys need to endure the hard times to find the good.To help you through this, I would highly recommend counseling. You need an outside voice and perspective.Does all that make sense?
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
It does all make sense, I admit I think personal counselling is the way forward. This format is too limited for meaningful advice or discussion