I'm very sorry to know about this very sad, frustrating and concerning situation.
It is very clear you think this person uses to say hurtful things when under the "heat of the moment", and that he keeping ex-girlfriends as friends could show he cares in some way because of doing that, but at the same time, you describe a person whose behavior consistently show he was hiding you, making sure he kept your relationship secret, while expecting and pushing you to please him, being very selfish and hurtful, to the point of pushing you away after you make a simple question like that. it is very sad, but it is also necessary to come to terms with the fact that this person has not shown in any consistent and open ways he truly cares about you, his actions actually show the opposite, that he was using you to please himself, and that as soon as he felt uncomfortable with something, because of his own personal issues, he got rid of you, which is shocking and totally unacceptable.
Please remember that the first right, need and responsibility you have is to ensure you take good care of yourself, that you respect, understand, protect and support yourself, sicen by doing so, you know hwo to set clear aboundaries and limits in relatiosnhips, and never tolerate anybody to use, abuse, neglect or manipualte you, sicen when we allow that, the other person feels entitled of doign it even more, which coudl enver helps us to be and feel healthy, happy and fulfilled at all, but to suffer. Carefully reassess your core needs and expectation about relationships, and do not tolerate or keep around people unable and/or unwilling to respect, support and meet those basic needs/expectations, otherwise you will wats time and get hurt, You deserve and need a healthy, caring and supportive person, able and willing to reciprocate your affection and caring,nothing less than that. Does it make sense?