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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4671
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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I’ve messed up big time with my girlfriend and she kicked me

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Hi, I’ve messed up big time with my girlfriend and she kicked me out and to make it even worse I’ve been begging her and calling her every day this week which ha led her to blocking me on all social media and my phone number and says she doesn’t ever want to talk to me again, on top of going out drinking an all her friends. She also lives far away so it’s hard to get to her in person
Assistant: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?
Customer: Yes, I messed up because she called the police on me over a minor argument we had which upset me that she could do that on top of that I found a guy on her phone who I later found out was just a friend but I was so angry at the time and not thinking clearly I went and texted her parents who didn’t know about me and would object to any relationships she has and they’ve disowned her. She didn’t live with them but she can’t see them anymore now. I know that if I gave her space a week ago she would’ve come back to me but I’ve been begging her all week now I’m scared it’s too late to give her space and she won’t come back to me
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
I’d also like to point out that we’ve been together 8 months however we’ve been through so much together and was always very very close, we’ve started arguing a lot in the past month or so over her getting so close to ppl and other guys which just gets to me cos I think why are they so important and she just retaliates by doing it more to spite me I believe
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
She hasn’t been cheating I don’t think but just speaking to guys in general that she knows probably fancy her
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
She has a twisted perception of me now that I don’t love her and I am controlling and manipulating but it’s not like that at all I really love her and she’s been hurt by people in the past and also it gets to me a lot that she treats me like I’m horrible and evil when I’ve been here for her more than anyone , staying up with her all night when she’s crying even tho I have work, and I’ve also been here for her financially paying her rent and for food and presents on multiple occasions and it’s as if she’s forgotten every positive thing I’ve done and only remembers the very small amount of negatives
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
She says I didn’t make her happy and was just horrible but when I look back on our photos and videos I see nothing but happiness and I remember her saying she loves me more than anyone and anything , also she came on to me when we first met that’s how into me she was
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
I just miss her so much and haven’t been able to sleep or eat properly all week , having breakdowns and mood swings everyday one minute I’m sad then angry then sad again I just can’t control my emotions right now I feel broken and suicidle

It sounds like you have come on very strong and you must must must stop reaching out to her or anyone else connected to her if you have any chance of her coming back. If she misses you and wants to speak with you, she will know how to reach out, but you dig yourself further in a hole by not respecting her wishes right now.

TherapistJen and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
I’m just very scared she won’t come back to me now I’ve left it so long to give her time And it’s making me very depressed cos I love her so much
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
I havnt spoke To her today

I understand how hard it is but if you push her at all which you have been she will only move further away from you. Your only chance is to let her be and if she wants to come back she will. Hanging on only helps her to feel suffocated and more angry.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Yeah, how likely do u think she will come back now? She really loved me before I messed up but I don’t know what she’s thinking now
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
She’s putting on an act hat she’s happy without me
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Going out with her friends drinking but its clearly an act when i spoke to her she’s not acting herself

Maybe she is maybe she isn't. But it doesn't really matter the only thing that matters is that you leave her alone and give her the space. No way to tell if she will come back but for now it's your only option and your best bet.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Okay , thank you very much I wish I done that before and I wish there was a way to let her know how I feel and that I’ve been feeling suicidle over it I love her so much
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
I really miss her

if you are feeling suicidal you must go and get emergency treatment.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
I just feel nothing can help me except her taking me back she was literally my life I have very low self esteem and depression and she got me out of it and it’s all come crashing down
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Im not gonna kill myself but it crosses my mind if you understand
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Cos I feel so depressed and terrible
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
But I’m too cared to kill my self but I’ve been drinking a lot

Your self esteem and should never be based on another human being. If it is I absolutely wholeheartedly recommend you getting into face-to-face therapy.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Yeah i will do soon when I have the money I don’t know how it will help tho I just have a mental block cos I love her so much
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
I know what I’m doing isn’t good for my health but I can’t help it
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
If she just came back to me right now I’d be so happy

Please take my suggestions and get into therapy in the meantime and give her space. Wishing you peace with all of it.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Thanks I’ll try my best

be well. Please take a moment to click the rating faces to rate my support. You are not charged again for doing so but without it I will not receive credit for my support. Thank you.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
I think I already rated you after ur first reply
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
5 star

Thank you so much.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Somebody told me that she said that she’s happy now without me even tho all she’s doing is drinking everyday messing up her life, and when they tried initiation a convo about me to her she was very off and tried ending the convo very quickly
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
I don’t know if she genuinely doesn’t love me anymore and is happy without me or she’s just saying that as a front
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Because she was so happy when we was together and other people even say that she looked so happy when she had me
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
It makes it worse that she’s got this new friendship group of people who just get her drunk everyday and stops her going college and she thinks they care about her when I don’t think they do at all
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
After I’ve given her Time to calm down what’s the chances she misses or will miss me because she use to say she loves me more than anything and now she’s just putting in this stupid persona and not being herself
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
what can I do to convince her that I love her so much and am genuinely sorry for everything and want her back