Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counsellor for Answers ASAP
Hello, I'm Rafael, an integrative psychotherapist. I'm here to support you. I'm carefully reviewing your question now and I am very sorry to know about this frustrating situation.
It is very concerning to know that you argue all the time, and that this person seems to look for physical violence and dominance in a sadomasochistic fashion as a way to boost his own ego, disregarding how hurtful it could be for you.
His behavior of not being totally honest and open with you would be shocking for most people in your shoes, since this behavior is not something most people expect. You expect his use of social media to be coherent with your exclusive relationship, and not one where you or his family are not a priority.
When your boyfriend dismisses your feelings and concerns, he is being neglectful and appears comfortable and confident about his poor and hurtful behavior, and the more you tolerate that, the more entitled he woud feel. Does it make sense?
Hello. You are very welcome. I am very sorry to know you have ben suffering so much mentally and physically because of so much stress in your life, and that this relationship has not helped but undermined your health.
When a person you love does not reciprocate your love, but actually hurts you, neglects you, and you find yourself trying to find a way to try to make him listen to you and change, reality is showing you in painful ways that your love was become destructive, since it tolerates and enables neglect and abuse, while your health and well-being suffer even more.
Please remember that your first right, need, and responsibility is to take good care of yourself, that means to respect, understand, protect, love and support yourself; since it is from, there that you ensure your health, happiness and well-being. without allowing or enabling anybody to disrespect, use, abuse, manipulate or hurt you. When somebody at least respects you, they will not hurt you. A real, healthy partner is one who is more that an excellent friend, it is a person who respects, understand, protects, supports you, that makes you and your life healthier, wiser, better, more empowered, meaningful and fulfilling, not the opposite.