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Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5326
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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Just checking site I think I may need a more specialist

This answer was rated:

Hi Pearl
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.
Customer: Just checking site I think I may need a more specialist conselo
JA: Is there anything else the Psychologist should be aware of?
Customer: was more a personal issue - thx

I need a bit more info to be able to help you. Please tell me what you are struggling with.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have been in a relationship for a while now and we tried to take it to next level last night. Im not sure if this is correct forum to discuss... please advise.

it is. what specifically do you need help with?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Jen...i have been in a long term relationship for several years that recently broke up...amicably. I started another relationship recently and tried last night to take to next level but unfortunately i had performance issues. Not sure if this is correct forum?

It is not uncommon for this to happen...nerves can set in and sometimes if you care for someone deeply it can affect performance. Try and take it slow and not put any pressure on the outcome of your intimacy....just enjoy the moment together and things may progress differently.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
It was a nervous encounter for both of us. We have know each other a long time and maybe had feelings going back a long time. It has never happened before and left me feeling emabrassed...even a little ashamed She was my first encounter since break up. I had been using substitutes and was concerned that this has had a detrimental effect

I think it sounds like because the connection goes back a long way and you were both nervous it had an effect. Make it fun, light and playful and take the pressure off the outcome and bring it back to a more natural experience.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
would a phone call be worthwhile?

I am not in a place where I can have the call. I suggest taking things slwo and not focusing on the act or the outcome and just connect and have fun.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok I understand. Was just confused as initially no problem for a long time until final stages. Gf had no issues at all

Get out of your head a bit if you can and just be.....take your time and even take the act out of the equation for a bit and just enjoy the space.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Sorry dont understand? Was considering trying viagara for first time but you dont recommend at this stage?

You would need to discuss with a doctor but it sounds more like your worries are causing it and not some physical issue but if you think it's medical then see a doctor.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I see. I think I will take your advice and take things a little slower. Hopefully as you suggest , problem will resolve itself in time. Thank you Jen u have been very reassuring.

I am glad. And I agree, less pressure, more fun, equals success.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I hope so...what was confusing was that i was fine for over an hour then... as you say probably was due to long term anticipation...thx again Jen...nice chatting with you. How do I give you a rating?

Please take a moment to click the rating faces to rate my support. You are not charged again for doing so but without it, I will not receive credit for my support. Thanks so much and wish you both very well.

There should be some faces for you to click to offer the rating.

TherapistJen and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
cant see faces?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
no faces Jen just stars at top of page -- I gave u 5! Thanks

Perfect. Thank you. We have a different screen so I can't used to be faces and now it is stars. Thanks for 5 of them! :-)

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
you are welcome...well deserved!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I would recommend you and would use you again!

Excellent. So if you need me again begin a new question and write for therapist Jen only and it will come to me.