Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counsellor for Answers ASAP
Hello, I'm Rafael, an integrative psychotherapist. I'm here to support you. I'm carefully reviewing your post.
I am sorry to know about your distress. You are right about how your relationship with Jessica and yoru friendship with Valerie have been impacted by your actions.
Could you please tell me more about what you mean by moving things forward?
Most friendships between heterosexual people who feel comfortable with each other, and have some level of attraction create attachment and from the expectations, speculation, and wondering about something romantic or sexual. Obviously, you do not feel strong enough affection towards your girlfriend, and felt comfortable, and as you said, less inhibited to get closer to your friend when decided to be under the influence of alcohol.
I suggest you not to push this person at all about this topic. Respect her position about it. Nobody but she knows about her feelings and expectations, and only if she chooses to discuss them with you she will otherwise it won't happen, and if you push, you'd have to afford her reaction.
Her behavior is already telling you about her choices and way to approach this. You can respect and support it, or push her being ready to afford it.
She is either telling the truth and she does not remember it, or she has chosen to avoid the topic because of feeling uncomfortable about it, not wanting to discuss it with you.
Again, people in her shoes would most times have some form of feelings after a long-term friendship, but you could endlessly speculate about them and never be right, since only she knows and only if she chooses to be open and honest about it you would know.
My suggestion is for you to protect your friendship, taking things easy, and learning from what people's behaviors show you. That way you would make improvements and ensure a healthier, happier and more fulfilling reality for you and your relationships.
Sure, as long as she shows the willingness to share that way. Just do not push her.
Yes, I believe that sooner or later she will reply.
I am sorry but I do not see any text messages.
No, I have not received any files from you.
The website exclusively allows the use of this interface to send files for regular questions.
I got it now.
Her messages just show she is telling you how bad she feels about drinking and not remembering anything from a certain point.
Only time will tell, and you can take the initiative for sure if you do not hear back from her.
You’re very welcome. Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions since I am here willing and ready to support you as much as possible.
You can contact me using this direct link to my profile https://www.justanswer.com/mental-health/expert-rafael-therapist/, you could bookmark it for easy access, and just make sure you state “For Rafael only” in your request, for other experts to know you want me to reply, and I will respond in less than an hour most of the time.
Also, know that I provide confidential counseling/psychotherapeutic support via Premium Services, which is implemented via Skype or phone call, in case you feel comfortable with me and would like to discuss this in more detail or any other concern, and the best approach to work on it.
Thank you for your trust. Take gentle care.