Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counsellor for Answers ASAP
Hello, I'm Rafael, an integrative psychotherapist. I'm here to support you. I'm carefully reviewing your post and I'm sorry to know about your distressful situation.
In your story, you describe how you separated and started new lives 12 years ago. And how a year ago you moved to live with another woman who has become your life partner. You have not described any issues with your current partner, but feeling pushed by your wife, the one you separated from 12 years ago, right?
I see. But have you suddenly stop having affection towards your partner and feel like leaving her, to get back to your wife? You just said you do not believe she has changed, that she is manipulative, and you have not described any present romantic feelings toward her, right?
That's my understanding. I understood you right.
Then you need to work on yourself, specifically on any codependency issues, since from there people allow others to manipulate them.
You need to set healthy boundaries and keep this friendship as such. Especially if she wants to push you, you need to make it sure she knows that you are only willing to share with her as a friend, and nothing more.
If she is unwilling to respect you, the relationship/partner of your boundaries, then you'd have to limit communication to protect yourselves. Does it make sense?
I wonder if you read my response, if it makes sense, and if it answered your question.
Hello. I hope you could read the response. Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions or to follow up, since I am here willing and ready to support you as much as possible.