Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counsellor for Answers ASAP
Hello, I'm Rafael, an integrative psychotherapist. I'm here to support you. I'm carefully reviewing your post and I'm sorry to know about your distressful and most probably overwhelming situation.
What you are describing here shows a very unhealthy and dysfunctional relationship, which started as a regular relationship, but then became FWB, where this person felt comfortable and entitled to use you and tell you that you were foolish is expecting you'd ever have a real, normal relationship with him. The same person who sent you all those pictures, and whose words can be as abusive, manipulative and hurtful as you have described here.
When the same person feels comfortable and entitled to be this hurtful, abusive and manipulative, does use nice words to fool you back into a relationship that hurts you, even more, do not believe the nice words, but what your pain has been showing about this person.
What happened with this other man was the result of your vulnerability, him pushing and manipulating you in such abusive ways, that you felt overwhelmed and that's why it happened. Does it make sense?
You cannot fix anything in yourself because you are a human being and do not need fixing. What you need and deserve is healing and rehabilitation, from this very painful and hurtful relationship. He has not only neglected you but used and pushed you to hurt yourself even more. His actions do not show any form of love, but a narcissistic entitlement to use, abuse, control,. manipulate and hurt you.
This person does not deserve you at all. Your healing start by coming to terms with the fact that your first right, need and responsibility is to respect, protect, understand, love and support yourself since it is from there that you will take good care of yourself, and know how to set healthy and clear boundaries, without allowing or enabling anybody to use, abuse, manipulate, neglect or hurt you.
This person is not a teenager to act out in such terrible, immature and selfish ways. What he did pushing you as he did is unacceptable, and show not only lack of resp[ect and love, but narcissistic abuse and sadism. Now you do not doubt how destructive and unhealthy this person is, so please commit to your healing and rehabilitation process.
This person does not deserve a second of your ti,e. Please fully block him, to ensure he does not contact you again because I believe he will as soon as he sees that you are not more needy, codependent;y asking for his love and attention. When he sees he can not continue using and abusing you to boost his ego, he will try everything to fool you back into this nightmare, and that's something you cannot afford.
Please consider psychotherapy as the best source of professional support to work on any life issue, especially when feeling overwhelmed by distress and painful circumstances to ensure your own health, effective coping, and the best possible outcome.
Healing and rehabilitating are gradual processes, they are not easy, but necessary and absolutely worthy.
You’re very welcome. This very painful situation can become the best thing that happened to you since allowing you to wake up to reality and liberate yourself from this awful and narcissistic person, so to start to work on empowering yourself and finding people who truly deserve you and your love.
Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions since I am here willing and ready to support you as much as possible. Please remember to rate my service by using the star scale at the top of the screen.
You can contact me using this direct link to my profile https://www.justanswer.com/mental-health/expert-rafael-therapist/, you could bookmark it for easy access, and just make sure you state “For Rafael only” in your request, for other experts to know you want me to reply, and I will respond in less than an hour most of the time.
Also, know that I provide confidential counseling/psychotherapeutic support via Premium Services, which is implemented via Skype or phone call, in case you feel comfortable with me and would like to discuss this in more detail or any other concern, and the best approach to work on it.
Thank you for your trust. Take gentle care.