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Rafael-E-Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 10528
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I keep shutting down when my partner gets upset and I feel

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I keep shutting down when my partner gets upset and I feel so angry when this happens
Assistant: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.
Customer: My partner is quite an anxious person she has done very very well on this getting over using medication to moderating her state. But when she gets upset due to a horrendous family issue she has going on or an argument we are having I withdraw and get cold and just don’t speak or look at her. I go quiet and this quiet rage builds up as she talks more and pushes me for answers and the more angry I get
Assistant: This sounds like a can of worms I'm glad not to have to open. The Psychologist will do a great job for you. Is there anything else the Psychologist should be aware of?
Customer: No

Hello, I'm Rafael, an integrative psychotherapist. I'm here to support you. I'm carefully reviewing your post and I'm sorry to know about your distressful situation.

Could you please tell me for how long have you been together, each of you has had emotional/anger problems, and how often do you argue?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
1year together.
I think we have both had issues for some time hers possibly longer than mine but she hasn’t been on meds for around 3-6months now. I have had a habit of getting angry feeling disrespected and be ending relationships previous long term girlfriend of three years which ended 10 years sill dominates my thoughts as she manipulated me a lot and I find myself getting overwhelmed and afraid i am being manipulated again.
We argue maybe once every two weeks in this sort of manner

I lament to know you suffered from a manipulative person for so long in the past, what explains your current fear and anxiety, behind your avidance an anger as ways to protect yourself.

Relationships are built based on the strengths and weaknesses/issues each partner grins into it, thus, unless each of you fully acknowledges your issues, take full responsibility for them, and commits to work on yourself to make necessary changes, including rehabilitation from anxiety problems, past wounding, dysfunctional defenses and more, the relationship would continue to be a source of distress, where you trigger and feel pushed by each other.

Please consider psychotherapy as the best source of professional support to work on any life issue, especially when feeling overwhelmed by distress and painful circumstances to ensure your health, effective coping, and the best possible outcome.

Individual psychotherapy to work on personal issues, and couples therapy to work on your communication, boundaries, understanding and supporting each other, and assessing how well you complement each other and share compatible core value and belief systems, personality and core needs and expectations. Does it make sense?

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
that does make sense thank you. In fairness that is why I signed up to this for psychotherapist advice?

I am a psychotherapist and I strongly suggest to work with couples therapist for both of you to address and effectively make progress in all these core areas. This interface allows posting questions and getting answers publicly.

I provide confidential counseling/psychotherapeutic support via Premium Services, which is implemented via Skype or phone call, in case you feel comfortable with me and would like to discuss this in more detail or any other concern, and the best approach to work on it.

Rafael-E-Therapist and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

Are both of you willing to hold accountability for your persoahnl issues, and commit to work on yourselves and supporting each other with professional support?