Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counsellor for Answers ASAP
Hello, I'm Rafael, an integrative psychotherapist. I'm here to support you. I'm carefully reviewing your post and I'm sorry to know about your distressful situation.
Could you please tell me for how long have you been together, each of you has had emotional/anger problems, and how often do you argue?
I lament to know you suffered from a manipulative person for so long in the past, what explains your current fear and anxiety, behind your avidance an anger as ways to protect yourself.
Relationships are built based on the strengths and weaknesses/issues each partner grins into it, thus, unless each of you fully acknowledges your issues, take full responsibility for them, and commits to work on yourself to make necessary changes, including rehabilitation from anxiety problems, past wounding, dysfunctional defenses and more, the relationship would continue to be a source of distress, where you trigger and feel pushed by each other.
Please consider psychotherapy as the best source of professional support to work on any life issue, especially when feeling overwhelmed by distress and painful circumstances to ensure your health, effective coping, and the best possible outcome.
Individual psychotherapy to work on personal issues, and couples therapy to work on your communication, boundaries, understanding and supporting each other, and assessing how well you complement each other and share compatible core value and belief systems, personality and core needs and expectations. Does it make sense?
I am a psychotherapist and I strongly suggest to work with couples therapist for both of you to address and effectively make progress in all these core areas. This interface allows posting questions and getting answers publicly.
I provide confidential counseling/psychotherapeutic support via Premium Services, which is implemented via Skype or phone call, in case you feel comfortable with me and would like to discuss this in more detail or any other concern, and the best approach to work on it.
Are both of you willing to hold accountability for your persoahnl issues, and commit to work on yourselves and supporting each other with professional support?