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JohnMichaels,MS,LPC, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1811
Experience:  25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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Quick overview. Was seeing this girl. We dated 5 times. Was

Customer Question

Quick overview. Was seeing this girl. We dated 5 times. Was amazing, lots of chemistry, kissing no sex. I basically messed it up because I was overkeen and sent a text illustrating that, and she said she wanted to be friends. This was 25th October. I text her last on Tuesday. She didnt reply. But then she did on Saturday night just gone out of the blue asking me to go to fireworks the next day (yesterday). I said yes sounds cool, let me know the times. She then ignored me until 3.30 yesterday and didnt even mention fireworks, just asked me how my trip away was ( i was away with bands as im a music agent). I then messaged her back after speaking to one of your advisors. No response.To be honest its really annoyed me because I thought we were going to fireworks but she never even bothered to reply to me or ask me again and give the time. So by advise I didnt push it but bow im in limbo. I just think im being played a bit and would like another perspective!She hasn't replied to my text but I like I say she asked me out, then text me the next day not even mentioning it, and when I responded she ignored me.
Submitted: 3 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 3 months ago.

Welcome to JustAnswer! I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. I am reviewing your question and will reply in a moment.

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
Hey I didn't get a reply?
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 3 months ago.

I am so sorry. I typed a response and thought I sent it, but evidently lost it somehow. I really think she probably likes you, but is uncomfortable with the intimacy bit. She is vacillating back and forth, can’t make up her mind. I mean, I think you confront her about it. She basically stood you up. I think you pitch a fit or anything. Just tell her you are confused as to what happened and would like an explanation. It sounds like you like her. A relationship will never prosper without communication and communication happens when you tell someone how you feel. Does that make sense?

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
Hey John,

Thanks for this. I asked her straight up. I basically said, I want to date her and not be friends but understand if that isn't what she wants. I did this because she replied to my message again but 4 days later and was sick of waiting around. Its with her now, so she knows how I feel!
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 3 months ago.

That was very brave. Out of fear of rejection, we often do not follow our heart. As a result, we waste our time on people that will never like us like we like them or we Miss what might be one time opportunities for nurturing relationships. I hope all goes well.

Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 3 months ago.

By the way, I do see in that another typo. It appears you understood what I meant when I said I think you pitch a fit. I meant to say I don’t think you pitch a fit or anything. Emphasis on the DONT.

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
This is what I wrote

Hey B, how are you? These last few days have got me thinking and I realise that being friends is not really what I want. You are a great girl and I like you, but I am interested in dating you and if that’s not possible I understand and respect that, but I would then prefer if we did not talk anymore. Being in this situation made me realise I am not comfortable like this. I wish you the best, and I hope you understand. Matt

Sent from my iPhone
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 3 months ago.

That works.

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
Well she hasn’t responded so I guess that says it all!
Expert:  JohnMichaels,MS,LPC replied 3 months ago.

I’m so sorry.