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Hi, I hope I can help with your question.
Perhaps it would be helpful to interpret her request as for you to be more confident or self assured, rather than rougher. Everyone is different, and sexual preferences vary, however generally with sex slower and gentler will achieve as good if not better results, and so perhaps you can both share your preferences and learn and grow from each other, with more variety. You will build up confidence as you better find out what you enjoy as well as learning about what she enjoys.
I hope that helps.
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Perhaps it would be easier to ask her to guide you/teach you what she would like?