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Rafael-E-Therapist
Rafael-E-Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6198
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I am having trouble in my relationship with my wife since

Customer Question

I am having trouble in my relationship with my wife since few months. Whatever I say she thinks I am lying and hiding things from her. She feels I am cheating on her. She has left our house and lives somewhere else. She does not talk to me and she has reported me to the police for sending her messages too. I am very scared since and having a very difficult time mentally due to all the incidents. I need some help on how to cope up with the situation and manage myself.
Submitted: 6 days ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Site Moderato replied 5 days ago.
Hello,

I've been working hard to find a Professional to assist you with your question, but sometimes finding the right Professional can take a little longer than expected.

I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you.

Thank you!
Customer: replied 4 days ago.
I am happy to wait
Expert:  Rafael-E-Therapist replied 2 days ago.

Hello, I'm Rafael, an integrative psychotherapist. I'm here to support you. I'm carefully reviewing your post and I am very sorry to know about your distressful situation. Could you please tell me if you still want to discuss your situation?

Customer: replied 2 day ago.
Yes
Expert:  Rafael-E-Therapist replied 2 day ago.

No problem.

 

Could you please tell me if your wife suffered from depression, anxiety or other mental health problems before this terrible situation started, and what caused or triggered it if you know?

Customer: replied 2 day ago.
Yes, she suffers from anxiety from many years. She keeps getting scared of me too at times and keeps saying that. I try to calm her down and explain that I am your husband and why are you scared all the time. I don't like it when she says this everytime. I feel really bad. When she left also, she kept talking about all the petty incidents in the past and kept exaggerating them. She is dillusional and keeps thinking that i am cheating on her. She went and told the police things which dint make sense. I am very disturbed since.
Expert:  Rafael-E-Therapist replied 2 day ago.

I see, then it is indeed very serious, and not something based on retaliation from an isolated argument, but the consequences of serious anxiety disorder, most probably depression too, but with psychotic symptoms, since delusions these severe with dysfunctional behavior affecting your lives the way they have, most times do not just suddenly happen, but gradually develop deteriorating people's lives, and without necessary psychotherapeutic support, they become more severe and destructive, what explains your current situation.

Customer: replied 2 day ago.
So what do you recommend I should do i such scenario. I am very tensed that her behaviour might harm me and my career as she has now gone to the police too. The police does not know about her mental health condition. And when I confronted her and wanted to tell her mother about the same, she started behaving defensive. I need some sort of advise or help as my mental health is becoming worse day by day. I have lived with her for 6 years and love her too. I cannot see her or myself in this situation. I am currently not allowed to talk to her. But even when i did, she was always destructive in her talks since she left. I am very depressed about the complete situation and have started taking medicines also for the same.
Expert:  Rafael-E-Therapist replied 2 day ago.

I am sorry to see this situation has got this painful. You need at least two professionals to support you. Please look for an excellent professional psychotherapist with expertise in relationships issues, mood, and anxiety disorders to support you on your own rehabilitation and coping, since it is your own health and well-being what you can and should ensure, control and empower, since it is from there that you will enable yourself to effectively cope with this tough reality.

 

Second, you need an excellent attorney to assist you in understanding the law that regulates this type of situation, for you to do what is necessary to protect yourself, from reputation to career, and to help her as possible. The attorney will fully assist you in working with the family court and police to prevent and cope with any issues caused by your wife's mental condition. Does it make sense?

Customer: replied 1 day ago.
Makes sense. But is there a specific name for such solicitors. Because I need to ask family lawyers about the issue and hence i do not know how to start the conversation about the same. Do you recommend i mentioning about the same to my GP too.
Expert:  Rafael-E-Therapist replied 1 day ago.

Mental health solicitors are specialized in this type of problem. It could be helpful to discuss with your GP about it too since he/she could refer you to for psychotherapy. You should contact your local NHS office for a referral for psychotherapy too.

 

Remember that you need your support system there for you, this is anybody from your family and close friends, who are healthy, mature, caring and supportive.