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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5356
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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My sister wants a key to my house. I don’t want her to have

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My sister wants a key to my house. I don’t want her to have one but I want to stay on good terms with her.
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.
Customer: I don’t trust my sister not to turn up at my house, rummage through my things, probably help herself to an item or two. I’m pretty sure she did this when I was in hospital with a heart attack in 2005.
JA: Is there anything else the Psychologist should be aware of?
Customer: We are both in our eighties! My sister’s husband was with her in 2005 and would most likely accompany her on a similar occasion. I was widowed in 2003, met a marvellous man with whom I’ve been from 2007 until he died two months ago.

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Thank you!

While I understand you wanting to remain on good terms with your sister, I don't think it warrants putting yourself and your home at risk since she has done things in the past. I would let her know you love and care for her but are not comfortable sharing a key. Yes, she might have a big reaction, but if you give her the key, it sounds like she won't care for you or your things in the way you desire.

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
Thank you. I am non confrontational! I know your answer is the right one. Not sure whether to raise the subject myself or wait till she does. She raised it in the first place and then again the next time I saw her. I suppose if I raise it I have s9me advantage?

It is possible to have an open discussion without it being confrontational, at least from your end, but you need to be comfortable. You can wait until she raises it again and let her know that you have given it some thought and you just are not comfortable and hope she can understand your feelings and your boundary around it.

Let me know any additional thoughts.

TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5356
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
TherapistJen and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you