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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5279
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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I have been in a relationship for three years. We have never

Customer Question

I have been in a relationship for three years. We have never lived together .he lives 20 miles away from me and says he must stay in his house when he’s working ( variable times) and with me when he’s not. He will not let me stay at his first we met up around every 5-7 days and stay together for 3/4 days. Now he’s rarely affectionate to me, never says he loves me and the gaps between out meetings are two weeks or more. He hasn’t introduced me to any of his friends, and has started going out with them when at home. We holidayed together in September and he treated me badly. When we returned I said I didn’t wan5 to see him again, but he persuaded me to give it another go and he was fine for two visits, then at the end of the last he got up in the middle of the night, said he couldn’t sleep and stormed out. Told me if I didn’t get out of his way he wouldn’t come back again. I could not contact him for two days, then he began texting as if nothing had happened . This was two weeks ago. I am going into hospital on Friday for an operation. I asked him if he was coming to spend some time with me for a day or two before my admission? He replied that there was no point as the hospital is in his town so he could just visit me on the Friday when I got admitted. It would also save him the money of driving to my home. I was upset because I wanted his support and comfort prior to Surgery. I was hurt he told me I was being illogical and irrational then refused to speak to me. He shut down his phone and ignored my texts asking him to speak to me honestly. He’s blocking me now. I’m very upset. What should I do Alana
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else the Psychologist should be aware of?
Customer: He is moody, and seldom affectionate. Does not express affectionate feelings.
Submitted: 7 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Site Moderato replied 7 months ago.

I've been working hard to find a Professional to assist you with your question, but sometimes finding the right Professional can take a little longer than expected.

I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you.

Thank you!
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 7 months ago.

I am sorry to hear about all of this. Imagine one of your friends wrote what you wrote above....what would you feel for them and what would you believe they should do?

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
I’m sorry but I had already done this obviously. I don’t think this process is working for me. I need more help and advice thank you
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 7 months ago.

Nothing is obvious through this medium so please feel free to expand. And my comments were just part of an initial dialog.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 7 months ago.

My additional thoughts are that this relationship will not work out and he has no intention of being any different toward you or the relationship. He seems a bit self-involved and not able to care for you in the way you need, desire and deserve. If you have been in a relationship for 3 years and has now blocked you, then I think his intentions are clear. I would focus on you and moving forward and focus on your recovery after surgery. I wish you the best with your surgery as well.