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JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1812
Experience:  25+ years helping resolve relational issues.
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I would like to know whether it's possible for us to get

This answer was rated:

I would like to know whether it's possible for us to get back together
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.
Customer: We broke up yesterday, because he has a lot of responsibilities, he is too stressed and thinks that at this point in time he cant do what I would need him to do, which is spend enough time for me. He said that this will make him feel like he is not good enough.
JA: Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?
Customer: He asked me "if I hug you will you stab me?" He only hugged me with one hand and we stood like that for a few seconds then he said that I'm so shot he cant see me
Customer: replied 8 days ago.
I also told him that I will miss him and that he will miss me too, to which he agreed. Then I said that he can always let me know and we can go out for a coffee.

Welcome to JustAnswer! I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. I am reviewing your question and will reply in a moment.

Customer: replied 8 days ago.
Thank you
Customer: replied 8 days ago.
I would like to keep texting please.

It is possible, but I don’t think it is a good idea to wait around for him. For one I think his excuse for breaking up with you is just a cop out. If he says he doesn’t have time for you, what he is actually saying is, he has more important things in life than you. I would advise you to move on. Does that make sense?

Customer: replied 8 days ago.
It does, I completely understand where you are coming from, but I in a way understand him too, because he has done a lot for me and helped me a lot and I don't think that he's done it for nothing. I mean if it wasn't him I wouldn't have my job. He is having his theatre company and a band and a job and college and friends too...
Customer: replied 8 days ago.
I dont really know how to feel about the whole thing. Do you think he might still want to be friends?

He might I personally think the friend thing is dangerous. That is a good way for him to retain you without the commitment. I’m not saying you guys have no chance of getting back together. I am saying you have a better chance of that happening if you aren’t friends. That doesn’t mean you can’t be friendly, just not friends, hanging out and such. Tell him you care about him but out of respect for his wishes you are moving on.

Tell him f he changes his mind, to he knows how to get hold of you. Does that make sense?

Customer: replied 8 days ago.
You might be right. I also think that giving him the time to miss me might also help. I just know him and I don't want to make him seem like the bad guy because he wishes to progress and give himself the time to bring the best out of him for him. Yet I did tell him that relationships aren't meant to be easy. He didn't really say much. Do you think the stress and the overall commitment to so many things at such a young age might be the reason of his decision?
Customer: replied 8 days ago.
Also what made you say that the friend thing might be dangerous?

Well, in retrospect, it might be more dangerous for him than you. What it might do to you is give you a false sense of hope and security"for him, as long as you are around, there is th temptation to question his priorities. i think he needs to prioritize his responsibilities. When i met my 8fe, I as a full time student in college, had full time job, and was in the army reserves and ROTC, working toward my commission. We married within a year and are still married today. 35years later.

“When I met my wife I was...”

Customer: replied 7 days ago.
do you think that me being there will confuse him, cos I mean he is still only 20 he is still just a boy. And you are an amazing husband then.
Customer: replied 7 days ago.
I have very strong guts. I knew that we were going to break up before he told me. There was something about this hug that just gave out the vibe of "I want you, but I need to let you go." What do you think might be the actual problem?

Well, she is an amazing wife! You know, he is an adult. Let him make up his own mind.

Customer: replied 7 days ago.
I am very sorry I'm asking so many questions, it was a great relationship and he still seems to love me and all that. I just dont get it.

In all honesty, I think he wants his freedom. He is young and still searching...

Customer: replied 7 days ago.
He is an adult indeed. I am letting him, that's why I decided that I am going to speak to a professional as I don't want to get in his way

How old are you?

Customer: replied 7 days ago.
you think its probably a no no go for me and him... I just dont get why he would help me so much and make plans only to leave...
Customer: replied 7 days ago.
I'm nearly 19

To be honest, I am not that concerned about him. You are the one who has secured my services. My opinion he is wanting the freedom to explore other possibilities. I hate to see you be put on hold will he shops aroun. That is not meant to be derogatory toward him. He has done the right thing. He has let you go. My personal opinion is you need to move on.

Customer: replied 7 days ago.
I know, it is easier said than done though. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and he showed me what my self worth is and that I deserve to be loved. This is the first man in my life to meet me with his parents and want them to like me and take me out and motivate and help me so much. I really don't want to let go. It really hurts me.

Wow, I am so sorry. Maybe you could suggest a trial period in which you give him a few weeks or so of no contact and then HE CONTACT YOU and let you know where you stand.

Customer: replied 7 days ago.
I just don't think it will work like that, I don't think it's a great idea for me to make a decision of what he needs to do. I just wanted to know if I might be the reason if there is something I can do to see if he would come back really.
Customer: replied 7 days ago.
And I mean in the end of the day I will not contact him anymore cos it's obvious that he needs his time. If it's meant to be it will be. I believe in that.

The reason I say he contact you is to give him the opportunity to prove his interest and to take control. no , I don’t think you did anything to cause this. He is just young and not ready to commit.

It sounds like you have your head on straight. I was worried you would put your life on hold for go,

Customer: replied 7 days ago.
I might be heart broken but I'm not stupid. That doesn't change the fact that if there was something I could do I would do it. I think I will just let him do his thing and if he misses me enough to come back he will.

That is very wise and honestly what I was attempting to portray. I’m just not use to dealing with such wise 18 year olds. Could you do me a favor and rate my answer so I can receive credit for it.

Customer: replied 7 days ago.
Thank you. I will do.

Thank you

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