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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5917
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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Having problems with ex, I'm very inexperienced in

Customer Question

Hi, having problems with ex, I'm very inexperienced in relationships having only been in a couple of them. I have taken my girlfriend for granted not communicated enough, shown childish behaviour and sent passive aggressive messages to her if I dont get a response. She left me.becajse of my irrational behaviour and scared of me.She has never had to be I just panic and worry, overthink and i have realised my mistakes, we go.in circles a.lot too, I need to grow up and act like an adult not making her feel like the adult.in the relationship.I love her so much and I know she loves me too she has wanted to be with me for a long time and we have talked about marriage, I have seen the errors of my ways and using this time.to work on the flaws to show I've changed but want help getting there.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Site Moderato replied 1 year ago.
Hello,

I've been working hard to find a Professional to assist you with your question, but sometimes finding the right Professional can take a little longer than expected.

I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you.

Thank you!
Expert:  Nicola-mod replied 1 year ago.
Hello,
I apologise as we have not yet been able to find a Professional to assist you. Do you wish for me to continue to search for someone to assist you or would you like for us to close your question at this time?
Thank you for your patience,
Nicola
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

She needs some time and space and in the meantime, you need to work on these issues within yourself...it is not just enough to say you have seen the error of your ways...you must do the work to understand why things feel as they do for you and cause you to act in these ways. I would suggest that you get into some counseling so that you can feel more secure within yourself and not play out those insecurities within any relationship. If she sees you are working on things then maybe she will feel okay about coming back. Leave her be and give her this time and space.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you I am getting counselling, it is my first real relationship so I keep making mistakes and then get needy when she backs off. I have realised a lot and have action plans but must stick to them not just say I will
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

That is wonderful to hear. Keep working hard and the changes will come.