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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5349
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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I have been doing no contact for 30 days now and I want to

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Hello, I have been doing no contact for 30 days now and I want to reconnect with my ex. I have a few thoughts. I feel like for it to actually work out she has to be the one to reach out as she’s the one who blocked me off instagram (after 1 week of no contact). Then after 3 weeks she unfriended me on FaceBook when I changed my profile picture. Is it okay to still reach out through text as its been 30 days and I'm thinking of waiting a few more days? I'm thinking to send a text message through mobile if I'm not blocked on there already saying this "I was passing by Gino's and there were lots of people having ice cream and it reminded me of you. I've been craving it cause of the heatwave! Have you had any good ice cream lately?" Gino's is where we first met.. I wanted to send this after 30 days of no contact to feel where we are at, if she's receptive, or will even respond, and if so in a positive way or negative.. What's your advice? Thanks
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
pack-a-punch weapon portraits 1,3,2,4: 6011
desk: 6625
lower level chrome machine: 4205
defcon room tv: 4940We met in Jan2019, dated until Dec 2019 and broke up. I lied to her about my age, she forgave me, then I felt she was being cold, we were have sex once every two weeks. I talked to her about it that it wasn’t enough for me, she said she can’t believe I would put that stress on her. Some weeks passed. I downloaded tinder out of boredom, I never cheated. She found out and was disappointed in me, I apologized but it never got back to being good. So we basically broke up mutually. I blocked her off my social media. 3 months later, we are now in March2020 I contacted her and we started talking, we set up a coffee date, the day before she said she was seeing my best friend but broke it off and told me not to trust him. I felt betrayed by her and my friend. We met for coffee and it went well, texts became more intimate then lockdown happened. I live alone and it was hard on me mentally, I started to text her more and got jealous when other guys were trying to flirt with her. She told me I overwhelmed her and pulled away. I told her how I felt, how much I cared and loved her, we argued and it got heated. She said things like we are done, she realized she’s enjoying her single life, we are different people and we’d have issues in the future because of our culture (which I strongly disagree with, we have different religions but we live the same way and we aren’t religious). I then went no contact for a week, then I sent her headphones (she knew I got them months ago) that I got her for Christmas that I never gave her because we broke up before it. Another thing I did that was very wrong was I sent her a promise ring and wrote a letter saying it’s a promise that I’ll be honest, faithful and support to her. She called me when she got it saying that’s her dream headphones and that the letter I wrote was beautiful but the ring was too much. We spoke on the phone for 47mins. 3 days later she texts me saying I put her in a weird position and I tried to buy her and that I haven’t changed and I showed my true self to her. Saying I was trying to buy her is so hurtful as that is the total opposite, I got it as a symbol to be honest, faithful and supportive of her. I didn’t reply to her text saying I was trying to buy her. It’s now been a week of no contact and I’m unsure what to do and how to fix it. I just want a fresh clean start with her without bring the past into it. I’m frustrated and feel I’ve been unfairly treated. I really believe we would be great together. We were arguing on instagram so I stopped replying and went no contact, after 1 week she blocks me on instagram, after 3 weeks I changed my Facebook profile picture and she immediately unfriend me on Facebook.
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
sorry ignore the 4 lines with numbers
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Hi, how long will it take to get an answer?
Hello,

I've been working hard to find a Professional to assist you with your question, but sometimes finding the right Professional can take a little longer than expected.

I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you.

Thank you!
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Hello, I can wait. Thanks
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Any update, thanks

If she has not reached out and she has blocked you on social media then most likely she has decided to move on and in that case I would not reach out to her. If she has had this time and space to be on her own and she was missing you she would have reached out. Sure, you have nothing to lose if you want to text her, so follow your gut here. If you decide to reach out and there is no response, then you can assume it is over for her.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if it’s worth texting her a light message to see if she’d respond .. I know myself that I’ve changed in this time but if she doesn’t follow me on any socials she won’t see that.. she is a really stubborn person though so I’m not surprised she hasn’t reached out

social media wouldn't show anyone real change...it is just how people represent themselves. Real change is seen in action.

But from the professional perspective if she hasn't reached out after this much time, it is unlikely she has the desire to connect.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
you think the best thing is to just move on?

It seems likely that she has after all this time so it seems like a good course of action. I do understand wanting to see if she would respond to a text, so I am not opposed to you trying one last time if you feel you need that closure or possibility.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I’m not sure. But I do know even if she missed me she wouldn’t text me cause she’s too stubborn.

then send the text and simply let her know you are checking in and hope she is doing ok...and then go from there.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I think I will do that.. it’s a tricky and difficult situation but I really appreciate your advice thank you

My pleasure. I wish you the best with it all. Hope it works out for you.

Please take a moment to offer a rating. You are not charged again for doing so but without it, I will not receive credit for my time and support. Thanks for understanding. Be well.

Jen

TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5349
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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