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Tori, Psychologist
Tori, Psychologist, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 188
Experience:  Work/Coaching Psychologist & Therapist
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Sorry to bother you again. So basically I needed some

Customer Question

Hi, sorry to bother you again.So basically I needed some clarity from my friend josh that we would despite everything still be friends and that things wouldn’t be awkward between us and he said it wouldn’t be. I then asked him what went wrong between us - if he lost interest - if it was something I did - and he responded ‘Nah wasn’t even anything you did just took so long haha and then when you had your free house I was busy so just annoying haha x ‘ so I assumed that meant he was no longer interested ???So then a week later I start messaging this guy called Ollie / who I was messaging before josh (but nothing has happened between me and Ollie, unlike with josh) and problem is is that both of the guys r good mates....... but I thought josh is over me so what’s the problem??So me and Ollie have been messaging all week, me and josh have also been messaging (but as friends) and I told both guys I would be out last night at slug.
Then last night all the guys r out and Ollie is messaging me being all ‘where r u? U still here? Josh said u would be here 😉’ and I said ‘yh I told him’ and he was all ‘must have to message him 😂😂’ and I said ‘what do you mean?’ And his reply was ‘🥱🥱🥱’ and I then said ‘i don’t know what to say’ and he said ‘you don’t say a thing, we know the rest, enjoy ur night 😂😂’ and I was all ‘why r u mad’ and all of a sudden he changes his tune and is all ‘How was your night’Mean time I looked back at josh’s feed and a bunch of private images I had deleted and I thought he deleted we’re back on there — I don’t know how but they were which I find so random as him deleting them led me to believe he was over me and our situation.I’m just confused on what is going on really -Is josh still interested? Because from his message I assumed he wasn’t ??? That’s why I moved on to Ollie??What do you think?Should I message josh again and ask if he is?Because if he is then I wouldn’t do anything with Ollie as they r good friends — and I prefer josh but if he isn’t into me then there really is no harm in getting with OllieWhat do you think I should do??And what do you think of their feelings?Thanks x
Submitted: 9 days ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Tori, Psychologist replied 9 days ago.

Hi, it sounds like they might both be interested. Josh has been non-committal, but at the same time shows signs of being interested, but maybe hasn't been motivated to go out of his way to make a move to see you, but may have had his interest increased since your conversation. Whatever is happening between you and Josh. it may be best not to get involved with Ollie, just because he will be 2nd choice, and he really deserves more than that, or to be involved in a triangle that would exist whatever happens now.

Customer: replied 9 days ago.
Hi. Yes I agree about what you said about Ollie as I don’t want to hurt his feelings because if josh wanted to get with me - currently I prefer him so... but again - I thought josh made it clear that he doesn’t want anything from me. If that’s the case then I don’t see the harm? As I was attracted to Ollie before anything happened with josh?Should I just message josh and ask him if he’s still interested - as I don’t want to be in the middle of two friends? Or would this be a bad idea?I just don’t want to wait for someone who isn’t interested when someone else is ... what do you think? X
Expert:  Tori, Psychologist replied 9 days ago.

Sometimes it helps just to know, and taking action yourself to make that happen helps you to make a decision, either way.