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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5698
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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How much does it cost, I'm stuck in a vile situation between

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How much does it cost
JA: The Expert's answer will cost $10 to $100, depending on the issue type and time to respond. You'll see the exact amount on the next page and can decide then. It's way less expensive and more convenient than any face-to-face visit.
Customer: I'm stuck in a vile situation between two women and don't know what to do
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.
Customer: I've been in a relationship for 6 years but a few months ago met someone new at work and I have really started to like her, but not I'm left just hating myself and not knowing what to do
JA: Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?
Customer: No
Hi and welcome. Thanks for reaching out. Tough spot to be in and it sounds like you are beating yourself up for having these feelings. If things haven't been great in your relationship then maybe some increased communication about it all is needed so you both can decide if it still works or if it is time to move on.and pursue this other woman.
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
Yeah, I hate myself at the moment because of the situation and just want to be out of it, but I don't know what to do and the thought of hurting either is awful
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
I'm not somewhere where I can talk freely about my situation unfortunately
Go easy on yourself. You are human. Talk to her about where things are and yes there might be hurt but still good to be open and honest so you can work through it all.
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
Is there any way to be able to work out which one I should choose, I just want to be happy and want as little pain as possible for everyone involved, my girlfriend at the moment has no idea I haven't been happy as she appears to be extremely happy, the new girl is exciting and compatible with me in many ways, but realistically I do not know how we would be in the future, I am getting to an age now where I need to start thinking about getting a first house etc so I need to grow up and actually be sensible in a relationship
Sometimes after several years in a relationship things can feel stale so the excitement of someone new is stimulating but that may not have staying power. Working on your happiness with your girlfriend and talking about what you need and bringing some more excitement may be the way to go, but only you can decide that.
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
It is probably not the best way to go about it, but where this has been going on a while now, I was sort of just going to keep going as I am talking to both of them until I naturally made a decision, but all that seems to have done is make everything harder as they both want to be with me and nothing is getting clearer, I just know that if one of them finds out about the other then I will have neither. Also I know its selfish and morally messed up but I don't think I could ever tell either of them about the other as I know they would be in so much pain. I just don't know how to work it out
Then you are putting yourself in a tough spot and only you can decide what is going to feel best for you moving forward.
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
do I just continue as I am until I decide, I was hoping there was going to be some sort of logical or methodical way to decide
Feelings aren't always logical.
So if you aren't desirous of talking about it and advocating for what you need in the relationship, then things most likely will stay the same. Keep in mind, while the grass may seem greener on the other side, it isn't always that way.
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
I just dont know if it is fair to stay in my relationship, I have like window shopped in the past with other women but never acted on anything until now. I dont even know why I did, I think I am just an asshole if I am honest. But I cant imagine life without either of them at the moment
Well, at some point you will know what you want to do. No magical answer about it all...you either stay or decide to take the leap and leave what you have now.
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
Okay, it seems like it isn't something I can really be helped with then? Thankyou for the messages
The suggestions I have given aren't what you desire to do so give yourself time to come to a decision as to which way to proceed without communicating with your girlfriend. Wish you the best with all of it.
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