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Hi and welcome. I am sorry to hear about these conflicting feelings of yours. What has been going on in the relationship that has you wanting you to leave?
Then it seems like you have a solid grasp on what isn't working for you and staying means contorting yourself into someone different and I don't hear that you want to do that!
No time is wasted when you were both in love and wanted things to work. That seems like a great use of time. Things haven't worked as you had both hoped but that doesn't mean it was all a waste of time. Stay true to what you want and need now.
Maybe because you are listening to what she has said when she tells you that you have wasted her time. She isn't in love with you and you nor with her, so guilt doesn't serve you...try and let that go and figure out what you want for yourself moving forward with your life.
I think being in limbo keeps that feeling alive. Once you make the decision, whichever decision that is, over time it will lessen. It is rare to leave a relationship without a lot of feelings for both people.
You pick a quieter time and you express your feelings in a loving and caring way and acknowledge her feelings and how she is hurting and understand she might lash out, but if you stay true to your feelings and what you want, and only you can decide what that is, then you are doing all you can.
Sounds good. I wish you peace and ease with all of it.