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Tori, Psychologist
Tori, Psychologist, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 329
Experience:  Work/Coaching Psychologist & Therapist
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I get attached very easily and i suffer for that, could i

Customer Question

I get attached very easily and i suffer for that, could i receive help?
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.
Customer: I work in a college and in the last month I dedicated all my free time to a student who had an accident and could not function in the daily activities. I recognised in him a personality similar to mine, and i saw the possibility of being attached for long term possibly combining our plans for a long term friendship. I noticed few things that I was not ok with but I didn't see them because of my needs to get attached and being afraid to let go a possibility. After one week, because of being tired I just automatically withdrawn until I realized I have not been looked for or texted by him. So I was not going to him and this person was not coming to me.
This feeling moved quickly in someone else, a member of staff married that I didn't think about, and in few days a person I didn't really get so close became almost fundamental for my daily happiness and satisfaction. I feel so much for this person, honestly I thought about a loving relationship. In fact, automatically, at the thought that this person may speak long time at the phone with someone else just produce in me I think anxiety ... It's some sensation in the upper abdomen, like my stomach hurts ... I feel like replaced, betrayed, not enough, in competition with the person who is speaking with what I suppose being my friend.
JA: Is there anything else the Psychologist should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: no
Submitted: 22 days ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 22 days ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call.
Customer: replied 22 days ago.
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Customer: replied 22 days ago.
I did a mistake, i am ok with typing and receiving emails
Expert:  Site Moderato replied 21 days ago.
Hello,

I've been working hard to find a Professional to assist you with your question, but sometimes finding the right Professional can take a little longer than expected.

I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you.

Thank you!
Customer: replied 21 days ago.
Hello, I would like to cancel this question and ask for a refund, please.
Expert:  Tori, Psychologist replied 20 days ago.

Hi, I hope I can offer some help with your question.

As children, we learn how to attach to others, however if the attachments that we have made are not secure, due to for example disruption of care or neglect, then these can stay with us into adulthood. Attachment is essential for survival, especially as children.

If there is a history of unstable attachment with caregivers, it would be helpful for you to talk this over with your gp to see if you could be entitled to some support to identify and work through any past history of these issues, and inappropriate feelings of attachment to others that you currently experience. Our drive for connection help us to feel safe and secure, however as you have identified, you feel you become overly attached too quickly, and this can actually become detrimental, as others may feel overwhelmed by this. Working through any past issues, or even from childhood, may help you to form healthier and more balanced feelings of attachment to others, by building your confidence in yourself first.