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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7311
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Yesterday, I told my boyfriend something I wasn't too happy

Customer Question

hi
JA: Hello. How can I help?
Customer: Yesterday, I told my boyfriend something I wasn't too happy about or satisfied with in our relationship. It was something that has been bugging me for at least a year and when I finally told him, he didn't react too well, as expected. He said things like 'i am really sorry for being a disappointment and for wasting you time.. i'm sorry i have not been able to fulfil you.." he also said he was so afraid of not doing enough to make me happy and that I proved his point. I feel really terrible because I know is he is really upset.
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else the Psychologist should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: I feel awkward texting him because i know he is still upset, I just would like to know how to make him feel better and how to reassure him.
Submitted: 19 days ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 19 days ago.

There are limited ways to find comfort for him.  He should be allowed to be left on his own so that he can  rethink the situation.  You may find that he is more willing to listen if he has a chance for a few days or a week to look at what you said and not his interpretation.  Things can change in a period of time because people cease being so angry and more able to listen.  If you have a long history he may be in a place where he isn't misinterpreting your actions.  You can then reach out in text form so that you can get a chance to really explain yourself and why you said what you did.  You may be able then to explain what you mean.

I think that you can inform him that you didn't mean it the way he heard it and you would like to explain .If he is still upset ask him for what would be best for him.   Allow him to take the lead and see how and how much he can tolerate.  He may surprise you if you are able to take his lead