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Ask Rafael-E-Therapist Your Own Question
Rafael-E-Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 9727
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I’m struggling to deal with my partner after I said I wanted

Customer Question

I’m struggling to deal with my partner after I said I wanted to separate
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.
Customer: It’s been 15years of relationship, the last 3years not been very good.
JA: Is there anything else the Psychologist should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: I just need help with my mental health
Submitted: 18 days ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 18 days ago.
I don’t know what to do at this point I need reassurance and someone to talk to regarding the issue. I have tried my best I think over the past 7years but he moved listened to me I do t know why. Maid me question myself over the years and started to doubt myself. That didn’t help but I’m strong at the moment, just not able to understand and how to deal with him at the minute. He is not letting it go or accepting the decision and makes me question myself again and again about possibly not making the right decision.
Customer: replied 18 days ago.
Over the years, I had to take charge of the responsibilities on the house and kids + work, I tried to talk to him and he never listened. We grew apart. He is a worry person that leaves in the future and past and I tried to give him reassurance and perhaps for him to seek help but that didn’t work. He didn’t make a effort to help himself. He always said I was overreacting.
Customer: replied 18 days ago.
Know he is struggling with the truth, and wants to change and try again but I’m so frustrated that I feel like I need space to understand what I really want as well.
Customer: replied 18 days ago.
He is struggling with sleep, taking medication for anxiety and said for me not to do that to him that he wants a chance and he still not listening to me. He is only worried because of the kids I believe. I’m not happy at the moment and not in a long time. He doesn’t help me live life as it is, a simple life is the best you could ask for.
Expert:  Site Moderato replied 17 days ago.

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Expert:  Rafael-E-Therapist replied 16 days ago.

Hello, I'm Rafael, an integrative psychotherapist. I'm here to support you. I'm reviewing your post now and I am sorry to know about your frustrating, painful, and concerning the situation. Please confirm your request for a private session by clicking the "Call me" button for the website to allow us to proceed with your consultation. Thank you.

Expert:  Rafael-E-Therapist replied 12 days ago.

Since I have not heard back from you, what I can tell you based on your post is that your decision to end this unhealthy relationship was not wrong but necessary. You have described a chronic pattern of neglect, manipulation, selfishness, passivity, and hurtful behavior, besides a consistent ability and unwillingness to truly take responsibility for his hurtful actions and to work on all the necessary changes.

Please consider psychotherapy as the best way to ensure you effectively work on this or any other psychoemotional aspect or life issue, especially when they are significantly impacted by distress and painful circumstances to ensure your own health, effective coping, and the best possible outcome. And when we develop any mental health problem, limitation, or disorder, we should not have to afford not having competent psychotherapeutic support right away.

You and your children should be your top priority, and that means that you should not fool yourself toleratignhis manipulation, nor the distorted belief pereptuatign this dysfunction woudlbe the best for your children, since that is never the case.