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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5934
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Professional Coach
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How are you? I have a couple of questions for you, so I was

Customer Question

Hi, how are you? I have a couple of questions for you JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best. Customer: so I was friends with this girl, not the best of friends but we started kissing and cuddling for a few months and thenstarted having sex. It was great at the start, we were mad about each other but with abandonment issues I have and the loss of my dad at Christmas years ago, I had a moment of rage that didn’t lead to anything physical but It was more just me being angry. In the new year she gave me another chance but with my issues I became needy and emotionally sensitive and I pushed her away. I’ve noticed all of these things now with therapy but we had a chat the other night because we still spend a lot of time together just hanging out as friends but she said she didn’t think she could get by what happened at Xmas but she still has a lot of time for me. She thinks the anger is just in me. She said although she doesn’t know if things will be different in the future she just can’t see it. My question is, is it possible to get her to trust me again and for her to see me the way I want her to see me and what are things I could do/ work on to show her that we were great together and I had issues of my own I had to work on JA: Is there anything else the Psychologist should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you. Customer: That’s long story short really Another thing, when we had the chat the other night we agreed to be friends and there was no hard feelings. And we left on a good note. But we’ve been in these sort of situations before just not as serious and I’m crumbled and been very upset about the situation but this time I still felt confident I would get her back even after her telling me she couldn’t see it. So the next day after thinking all day, I txt her and I told her that I respect everything she said and respect her decision and although we agreed to be friends that things just feel different for me now and it shows me that I’m more confident and I’m not the same person I used to be so I’m going to fight for her and show her that I’ve changed and I’m a much better person now. I’m not sure if I really should of done that
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.
Customer: Hi, how are you? I have a couple of questions for you JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best. Customer: so I was friends with this girl, not the best of friends but we started kissing and cuddling for a few months and thenstarted having sex. It was great at the start, we were mad about each other but with abandonment issues I have and the loss of my dad at Christmas years ago, I had a moment of rage that didn’t lead to anything physical but It was more just me being angry. In the new year she gave me another chance but with my issues I became needy and emotionally sensitive and I pushed her away. I’ve noticed all of these things now with therapy but we had a chat the other night because we still spend a lot of time together just hanging out as friends but she said she didn’t think she could get by what happened at Xmas but she still has a lot of time for me. She thinks the anger is just in me. She said although she doesn’t know if things will be different in the future she just can’t see it. My question is, is it possible to get her to trust me again and for her to see me the way I want her to see me and what are things I could do/ work on to show her that we were great together and I had issues of my own I had to work on JA: Is there anything else the Psychologist should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you. Customer: That’s long story short really Another thing, when we had the chat the other night we agreed to be friends and there was no hard feelings. And we left on a good note. But we’ve been in these sort of situations before just not as serious and I’m crumbled and been very upset about the situation but this time I still felt confident I would get her back even after her telling me she couldn’t see it. So the next day after thinking all day, I txt her and I told her that I respect everything she said and respect her decision and although we agreed to be friends that things just feel different for me now and it shows me that I’m more confident and I’m not the same person I used to be so I’m going to fight for her and show her that I’ve changed and I’m a much better person now. I’m not sure if I really should of done that
JA: Is there anything else the Psychologist should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: Nope
Submitted: 11 days ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Site Moderato replied 10 days ago.
Hello,

I've been working hard to find a Professional to assist you with your question, but sometimes finding the right Professional can take a little longer than expected.

I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you.

Thank you!
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 9 days ago.

Hi and welcome to JustAnswer.  I am therapist Jen.  I am sorry to hear of your struggles and what has gone on between you. It is hard to know one way or the other whether she can come back in the way you desire, but it does sound like you are doing the right work on yourself to deal with your emotions.  It is possible that if you spend this time as friends, that she begins to see these changes and feels comfortable enough to connect again more than friends.  Stay steady and calm and continue to work on yourself as that is the best chance for things to progress how you desire.