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Rafael-E-Therapist
Rafael-E-Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 10429
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I hear been dating this guy for 18months and he is kind but

Customer Question

I hear been dating this guy for 18months and he is kind but so lazg
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.
Customer: Sorry I mean lazy has some disgusting habits that irritate me beyond that I cant even say. But for me yesterday ....I have covid so really not well. He had a shower and im sleeping in the main bedroom he is in the spare room. As he is negative. Anyway he left the soaking wet town on my covid si k bed. Made the bed damp. HRdly cared but the final straw was this morning. He was going to work and said im.putting honey out....honey is my dog...and as he left he said oh honey was sick on the floor. So having covix and not well I stayed in bed for a while. I have a terrible cough. I got up to dog vomit in the hall. I can hardly breath and I had to clean up that mess. Went into the kitchen used te bags all over the counter butter knives spilled milk marmalade all over a plate and now ive snapped. I ve had physically and emotionally abusive husband in the past so I k os this is petty. But am I wrong in that I cant stand it any more and want him gone or am.i being u reasonable. I have spoken to him about this laziness before so its not a new argument
JA: Is there anything else the Psychologist should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: Nothing really it seems so petty but im.v upset. Maybe covid is making it worse
Submitted: 18 days ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rafael-E-Therapist replied 18 days ago.

Hello, I'm Rafael, an integrative psychotherapist. I'm here to answer your public question. I'm reviewing your post now and I am sorry to know about your distressful and frustrating situation. Please give me a few minutes to answer your question. ("Answers are general information only, not advice").

Customer: replied 18 days ago.
Thank you
Customer: replied 18 days ago.
It seems petty but I cant talk to anyone voz it seems so stupid
Expert:  Rafael-E-Therapist replied 18 days ago.

You have described a person who is not only lazy but also neglectful, selfish, not caring about you, the dog, your place, and most probably other things that are important. And while many people would regard a physical, verbal or emotionally abusive partner as terrible, the fact a person does not present those types of abuse does not justify all the other issues you have described here, unless your level of maturity, insight, and expectations happened to be so poor that you do the same and feel comfortable with whatever he does, matching your own deficiencies, which does not seem to be the case.

Then I suggest you carefully and seriously assess your core needs and expectations in relationships and see if this person is able and willing to meet them or not, and the same about your main value and belief systems, if they are compatible with this person's views and ways, otherwise you'd not get anything better than that.

Please consider psychotherapy as the best way to ensure you effectively work on this or any other psychoemotional aspect or life issue, especially when they are significantly impacted by distress and painful circumstances to ensure your own health, effective coping, and the best possible outcome.