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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6317
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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My wife and I have been married for the past 33 years.

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My wife and I have been married for the past 33 years.During the past 6 years my wifes health as deterioted to the point where sex is too painful for her.Whilst I completely understand the situation, and love my wife, any form of intimacy has gone, to the point of rejection.I am really struggling with this, to the point of feeling depressed but it all seems insificiant compared to my wifes issues, I can't seem to shake it.I don't know how to approach this with my wife without sounding like the worst uncaring person in the world, which is why I haven't for almost a year but it's eating at me each day. I would appreciate some advice how to handle this situation.
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else the Psychologist should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: I don't think so.
Hi and welcome to just answer. I am therapist Jen. I completely understand how difficult and delicate the situation is. But expressing your needs even while she is dealing with deteriorating health can be done if it is done with love, care and empathy. And you can be open and direct with her letting her know that you care for what she is going through and need her guidance on how to handle this need within you for sexual intimacy.  You may be able to come up with a solution together so that you don't need to feel guilty and you don't need to feel depressed.
Customer: replied 11 days ago.
Hi, thanks for your reply.
"But expressing your needs even while she is dealing with deteriorating health can be done if it is done with love, care and empathy."
Can you offer any advice how to tackle this? My wife closes down when I attempt to initiate the conversation around the subject, and says there is nothing to say about it because she just can't.
Let her know you completely understand how difficult it must be for her to have this open conversation and that it is tough for both of you but the conversation needs to be had because you are part of the equation as well. And there might not be a perfect solution but I do think expressing yourself, both of you, would be helpful.
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