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JGM, Solicitor
Category: Scots Law
Satisfied Customers: 12182
Experience:  30 years as a practising solicitor.
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Hi I live in Scotland. I seperated from my husband over 3

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Hi I live in Scotland. I seperated from my husband over 3 years ago now and we have one daughter together who is 6 years old. My ex was a very angry and controlling man and he yelled oushed me aroynd and was always doing this infront of our daughter. She has never had a good relationship with him and althoigh at times they get along she has never really wanted to stay at his every second weekend which we agreed. He is horrible to me when he picks her up and she gets so upset going that she ia shaking amd nearly sick at timea. Now she wont even go for tea. My ex has a lovely partner who I do most of the communicating about maddy with but this is just getting too much. She says shes scared to make him angry she wishes he was never born and so many more things. I have tried family mediation but he wont attend. I have tried talking to him he says its me turning her against him when its not I have tried even bribing her to get her to stay but I feel she is getting to an age that she has her own mind and own vouve to be heard and he just wont listen to her. She quickly stops crying when he comes cause she says he gets mad at her. He wont let her calk me or if I see then out come and talk to me and I never stop her. I luve with my partner and we have a 17month old and a baby in the way. Maddy you would think would enjoy the time away to get one on one but she begs me not to put her. On rare occasion she goes with no problems but those times are so few and far between. I have tried everything talked to so many people for advice and all say her rights have been violated and I need to seek legal advice. Can u help? I want to apply for full custody. I want to give maddy the child hood she needs shes seen and heard to much and needs to feel safe and she says she feels that here. Any advice wuld be appreciated on where to go from hwre. Xxxxx
Thank you for your question.

I am a solicitor in Scotland and will help you with this?

Is there any court order giving your husband contact to your daughter?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi and thank you!


We have a minute of agreement stating he has her every second weekend for 2 nights and anything else is to be agreed between us. Wr have a verbal agreement she has tea at his on a wednesdat night.


Elissa xxx

I think that where contact is upsetting your daughter it has to be restricted at least for a period. It is not, from what you say, in her best interests that it should continue in its present form.

You should have your solicitor write to your husband or his solicitor stating that contact will have to be less at the present time as it is upsetting your daughter. If he doesn't like that then it would be for him to apply to the court for a contact order and the court would have to listen to both parties and decide what is in your daughter's best interests. His demeanour and the fact that he has refused mediation etc would all be relevant.

At the same time you can apply for a residence order (there is no such thing as custody any more) on the basis that this would give your daughter some additional security.

Happy to discuss further.
JGM and other Scots Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

thank you so much for the quick response. I am going to email my solicitor today and awsk for something to be written to this effect. I hope in time that she willbe happy to go and hope that if she wants to go on occasion he will see this as a positive response. He is not going to like this but i feel i have no other option and he has pushed me and maddy into doing this. I want her voice to be heard and want her to have the right to say and be listened to and maybe this will have a knock on effect in a positive way that if she doesnt feel bullied into going then the want to go will hopefully come. Fingers crossed. I do want to say thank you so much for the quick response. I have been needing some advice and have waited for phone calss replies to email etc etc for months now been shuved from pillar to post and the whole time felt totally at a loss in being able to support my daughter!!! thanks again you have no idea what this advice has done for me xxxxx

Your welcome.