I am sorry to hear of your dilemma. I realize how frustrating this is for you and I hope to provide you information which is accurate and useful, even though it may not be the news you were hoping to get. I just ask that you not shoot the messenger.
Unfortunately, I am sorry to tell you, there is not much you can do to stop your spouse in the US from obtaining a divorce, if that is what he wants to do.
All states allow no-fault divorce. That means a petitioner need not allege any cause or fault in the breakdown of the marriage, other than a desire to no longer be married and, in most cases, a period of separation.
If you are not in the US he can serve you by publication and proceed to a decree of dissolution without any further input from you.
I am sorry. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but I do not want you spinning your wheels on this.
I am happy to continue if you have follow-up questions about this, but if you are satisfied that your question is answered professionally and accurately, even if not the answer you were hoping to get, please remember to leave a favorable rating (click 5 stars in the rating section on this page). It is the only way that I am credited by JustAnswer for answering your question.
There is no additional charge to you for rating me favorably.